


if i told you i loved you

by starstruckforyou



Category: Ghost Quartet - Malloy
Genre: Dave Malloy, F/F, Ghost Quartet, Musicals, One-Shot, f/f - Freeform, soldierose - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstruckforyou/pseuds/starstruckforyou
Summary: Rose gets a little more than she bargained for when she meets the Soldier. But then again, the Soldier knows a little bit more than Rose bargained for, too.





	if i told you i loved you

“What may I get for you?”  
Rose spins around on her bar stool. She’s been watching the people dance while mentally complaining about the shitty service this place has to offer. The people are a lot more interesting than the complaining, and she finds her eyes drawn to women in small groups, laughing together and singing along to the words of a song Rose doesn’t know. She misses Pearl. No, she doesn’t. She hopes they’re fucking happy together. She’ll love to see how happy they are when she retrieves the items for the Bear and he does what she asked him to.  
“What may I get for you?” The bartender repeats. There are no inflections in his voice, just a flat monotonous drone. His hair is untidy, he wears glasses, and his name tag says Dave. He’s attractive, she supposes, and awfully familiar looking. “Lady, I haven’t got all day.”  
Rose snaps to attention. “Um, get me a Jameson. No, Maker’s Mark. Fuck. Your best whiskey, please. On the rocks.” She deserves something nice, for a change. A break from this mission she’s on. She figured she’d start with the pot of honey, since it would be the easiest, but she somehow hasn’t come across a single person with any honey. Only she could have luck this bad.  
Maybe some whiskey will help.  
Dave turns away from her and takes a bottle off of the shelf. She tries to read the label, but the letters are too small. He’s bad at taking orders but a good bartender- she’ll give him that. He works quickly and it hasn’t even been a moment before he slides a glass of whiskey in front of her.   
Rose goes to take a sip, then remembers her manners. “Thank you.” Dave nods, and goes back to the end of the bar. She realizes that he’s been so slow because he’s been flirting with a handsome man that has a mop of brown hair and something tall and dark behind him- a cello case? She shrugs to herself and takes a sip of the whiskey. It’s Lagavulin- she can tell instantly. She reminds herself to drink it slowly. She definitely can’t afford another glass. Well, maybe one, if she’s feeling nice to herself.  
The ice cubes clink against the class as she sets it down, scanning the crowd again. This time, her eyes fall on a woman in the corner of the room.  
She’s pretty, in a plain sort of way. She has almost stick-straight, mousy brown hair. Her skin is tan, like she’s been in the sun a lot. She wears a black dress under a leather jacket but it looks wrong on her, as if she’s a doll awkwardly fitted into clothes that were made for another brand with different proportions. That’s the only way Rose can describe her. The woman doesn’t fit in here, looks so clearly out of place among the colored lights and dancing couples.  
Rose decides to talk to her.  
She figures she’ll pay for her Lagavulin later (or maybe not), and weaves her way through the crowd, denying several invitations to dance before she’s on the other side of the room.  
“Hi,” she says, taking a sip of her Scotch. The woman jumps. “Sorry,” Rose apologizes, laughing a little. “I have a tendency to sneak up on people.”  
The woman looks her up and down, as if sizing her up. Or checking her out? Maybe both. Rose isn’t quite sure how she feels about it. “It’s okay. It’s just disconcerting in here. Loud. Not that I’m not used to loud. But a different kind of loud.”  
Rose doesn’t ask what the woman means, and holds out her hand. “I’m Rose, by the way. Rose Red.”  
The woman doesn’t take her hand. Rose brings it back down to her side. “I am a soldier.” So that’s what she meant by being “used to loud.”  
“What’s your name?” Rose presses on when the woman doesn’t say anything else.  
The woman’s eyes go cloudy, glassy as they reflect the multicolored lights. She’s silent. “I am a soldier,” she says brokenly, as if reminding herself of that.  
“Alright,” Rose says, unsure of what to make of the situation. “Can I buy you a drink?” She’s not at all sure of what’s going on, but the Soldier is kind of beautiful and more intriguing by the second.  
“Alright,” the Soldier repeats.  
Rose smiles. “Do you like whiskey?”  
The Soldier nods, the slightest hint of a smile flickering on her lips. They’re nice lips, Rose realizes. She hasn’t kissed anyone since him. The Astronomer. Fuck him and his telescope.  
Rose leads the Soldier to the bar and orders another Lagavulin. She isn’t sure what’s making her do it. Maybe it’s the need for a distraction. Or maybe she just wants someone to notice her. Dave sighs as he takes a break from flirting with the cellist to pour the Soldier a drink. She can tell he wants to ask her about paying, but then decides it will take too long and returns to the other end of the bar where the cellist is waiting.  
The Soldier takes a sip. “This is... very good.”  
“Lagavulin,” Rose comments. The Soldier looks at her blankly. “You’ve never had Lagavulin before? And you call yourself a whiskey lover?”  
“I never said lover. I’m a casual liker.” Was that almost a joke?  
“Dance with me,” Rose says suddenly. She places her drink down on the bar and takes the Soldier onto the dance floor. The Soldier looks like she has no idea what she’s doing. Rose wonders when somebody must have last asked the Soldier to dance.  
“I don’t-” the Soldier begins.  
“Shh...” Rose tells her. “Just- here, take my hands.” Rose takes the Soldier’s hands in her own. The hands of the other woman are big and calloused and rough. Like the Astronomer’s. But in a nice way. Not like the Astronomer’s. “And now we just kind of go like this.”  
And Rose begins to sway side to side as the song switches to a slower one. The Soldier copies her, and it feels... good? And the Soldier’s face somehow ends up buried in Rose’s shoulder, which is awkward because Rose is so much smaller than her. Not much physically smaller, but... hollower, inside. Like a bird with barely any feelings left in its chest or air in its lungs.   
“Soldier?” Rose says hesitantly. The Soldier lifts her head. “Why... I mean... do you not have a name?”  
The Soldier’s words seem unfamiliar in her mouth, like she’s never had to answer that question before. “I... I think I had one. Once. But I don’t remember it. I’ve been a soldier for so long...” And a single tear rolls down her cheek. Then another. Rose reaches up and wipes the tears away with her thumb.   
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re with me. You’re fine. You’re fine. You’re fine.” Rose repeats those two words until the Soldier has stopped shaking and her hands are steady again. “See? Fine.”  
The Soldier smiles at her, a real, genuine smile, and it makes Rose tremble a little inside. It makes her feel special. She’ll never hurt the Soldier, she thinks to herself. Because the Soldier is just like her, broken and beaten, an empty cup begging to be filled with love. She has no idea what she’s feeling right now, but the Soldier’s arms are strong around her and the Soldier’s mouth is pretty and now she knows the Soldier tastes like Lagavulin, like the best, because they’re kissing.  
Shit, it’s nice.  
Rose doesn’t know how long they’re kissing for, before she pulls away and blurts out-  
“What would you say if I told you that I loved you?”  
The Soldier stares at her.  
“Hypothetically,” Rose adds, feeling lovely and stupid.  
The Soldier stares at her some more. “I would tell you I know that you’re lying. And then I would kiss you again.”  
“But I do love you.” She has no idea why she’s saying this. She doesn’t love the Soldier, half of her heart is still miles away, shattered on the floor of a treehouse. But it feels nice to say I love you to someone.  
“But you’re lying.” And the Soldier’s mouth is back on Rose’s and the Soldier has her pressed against the wall now and- “I have a room upstairs,” the Soldier whispers, her breath hot on Rose’s ear. Rose nods and now the Soldier is leading her through the crowd. She catches a glimpse of Dave and the cellist, who are kissing so intensely that she has no idea where one of them begins and the other ends.  
The Soldier and Rose dash up the steps to the top floor of the inn, and then they’re in the Soldier’s room, and everything is bedsheets and strong hands and stardust.   
“Rose,” the Soldier says later, when they’re both lying down and Rose is pressing kisses to her collarbone, “When this is done, when we’re done-” Rose ignores her, biting the hollow of her throat. “-will you shoot me?”  
Rose sits bolt upright, gathering the sheets around her. “What- why would I do that?”  
“I know you don’t want me. You don’t love me. You just want to find the honey.”  
“How do you-”  
“I don’t know how I know.” The Soldier interrupts her. “I don’t know. And I don’t know if this is me, if I’m just weird and fucked up, or it’s not me and it’s someone- something else, a- a ghost or something. But then, I always feel like a ghost nowadays, and it’s only a matter of time before I actually become one. I was going to shoot myself tonight until you showed up.”  
Rose swallows. “I can’t shoot you. I can’t... kill someone.”  
The Soldier’s eyes flash. “You’re already getting people killed, aren’t you?”  
How does she know? “I’ll- I’ll do it.” It’ll be like practice, except she doesn’t say that. Practice for how to deal with it.  
“Good.” The Soldier smiles at Rose, and there’s nothing behind her eyes. She’s right, she is a ghost. “Now kiss me, Rose,” and Rose is happy to oblige.   
In the morning, the Soldier tells Rose where the honey is. Rose’s fingers itch, and she resists the urge to take it right then and there.  
In the morning, the Soldier presses a gun into Rose’s hand, and leads her into the alleyway. She kisses Rose against the side of the inn.  
In the morning, the Soldier kneels to the ground, facing away from Rose. Rose hears faint murmuring and realizes that the Soldier is praying.  
In the morning, the Soldier crumples as the gunshot rings out.  
In the morning.  
Rose takes the honey and runs.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
